This is difficult. Today, I lost my best friend. My best friend of eighteen years. Caffrey.

I am filled with indescribable sadness. Yet at the same time, and looking at these pictures, I am filled with thanks and joy. Thankful for eighteen years of joy. This is longer than some of us get to spend with a parent or a spouse.

God, I will miss my furball so very much. His little quirks. The morning wake up calls by paw. The purr, immortalised on audio. Excited greetings by the door. I am grateful for a beautiful catalogue of images and video clips but mostly, precious memories, woven into my heart & soul forever.

A friend once said about him:”He is this tiny creature but his big personality fills the whole room.” It’s so true.

Right now, all this is raw and I can’t quite imagine life without him. Typing it out loud is hard because it makes it real but it is part of my healing process as well as a way of letting you know. Those who have met Caffrey and naturally, fallen in love with him. Many who have never met him, yet adore him simply through me sharing the stories and knowing the impact he has made on my life. Caffrey has had a very good life. From the moment he started sleeping on my door step, eighteen years ago.

Faced with several trials over the years and always bouncing back, Caffrey has been called ‘the undefetable furball’ and ‘a resilient little bugger’. And boy, did we put up a fight this time. We tried everything we could. But in the end, the big, ugly C arrived suddenly, aggressively and was simply too much.

Over the past two weeks, we spent a lot of time at Animal Ark as well as quality time at home. Staying positive and hopeful throughout but this afternoon, it was time. I was with my beautiful boy until the end and most importantly, he knew I was there. Holding his little paw, stroking his head, he looked at me and we were in our own little zone. Our own little world that had come to be over the past eighteen years.

My heart is breaking. The pain in my gut is raw and real. There will be more tears. But I’m not mad. Not asking why. Instead, remembering the good times and the beautiful life we’ve shared together.

We’ve both been extremely blessed and thankful for the care at Animal Ark over a period of ten years and especially the past two weeks. Thank you, Lyndon, from the bottom of our hearts and each and everyone who has held my boy and let him feel the love in an otherwise strange place.

Words cannot express how much I will miss you, Furball. But our bond is long and strong, beyond eternity. Love you to the moon and back and one day we will meet again, in the new world.